Fear

Fear is in the mind of the beholder… but that doesn’t stop it.

Whether or not I try, I am afraid of things… mostly things I feel I cannot control: I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of not being good enough. I am afraid of the unknown. I am afraid of taking risks. Heck, I’m afraid of not wearing the right outfit. (Internal) fear is only what you, or I, make it out to be.

Since starting CrossFit, I have been faced with taking risks, the unknown, and pushing myself. Since starting my new business in direct sales, I have also faced fear; fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of commitment, even fear of success. And what all of these fears (or factors) have in common, the connecting force that drives them to become fears: myself.

For a few weeks now I have been faced, daily, with my own fears. I have had to make, or at least face, some life-changing decisions, lately. Whether or not they are the right decision is one thing, but actually having to choose is hard. Why? Let’s just say I’m not the most decisive person… “what should I have for breakfast today????” (yes, that’s me.)

But lately, I have been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone, my safe place, and into the unknown, where the fear lies. Taking risks, pushing ones self, and doing what is hard, is the only way to grow, right? But how do we get to that growth stage?

I don’t want to run away from opportunity anymore. I want to jump out and take it. I want to push myself beyond what is comfortable. The other day, when talking to my Mom, the wise woman she is, about taking risks and fear and such, she put things into perspective: “Tell yourself you can do it, and you can. You told yourself you could run a marathon, and you did. You told yourself you wanted to x, y, z in fitness and you did. Why stop there? You can do anything you put your mind to.”

Thanks, Mom! Always there with words of wisdom, even if I already knew them, it helps being reminded.

Here are some ideas and tips out there, that I will and should follow, to help overcome internal fears:

  • Avoid using dis-empowering words. For example “I Can’t”, “What if”, or “Why Me”… Instead, use “How can I” to train your mind to be solution driven.
  • Be aware when comparing yourself to others. We all have our own unique set of abilities and likes. Harness these and use them to avoid unrealistic comparisons.
  • We learn by experience, so if something we have tried in the past failed, we tend to avoid this failure again. In some situations, you may need to let go of this past and try again. Take control of your fear instead of letting it control this part of your life.
  • Look at a stressful situation or a fearful situation as an opportunity to learn something new or gain a brand new experience.
  • Write down the “fear” you want to accomplish and the plans to achieve this goal. Organize and prioritize the tasks/plans to prevent yourself from facing fear of loss or failure.
  • Create momentum and motivation to see your gaining results. Set daily, weekly, and monthly challenges to gain these results.
  • Free yourself from your comfort zone. Do this in any way you can. Small steps bring big rewards.
  • Don’t give up. The only time people fail is when they give up. The winners learn from their mistakes.
  • Get out there and challenge yourself.

My challenge for myself is to put these ideas and tips into action. I’m working on my goals, putting up the plans to achieve them, and challenging myself to actually DO them. Fear, I will conquer you!

Maybe I need more yoga in my life…

Fear is a stepping off point for the unknown, good, bad, growth, strength, the future. For those who are especially being faced with fear right now, my thoughts are with you. You know who you are.

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Q&A:

What fear(s) drives you?

Do you let fear drive you or your decisions?

What do you do to combat fear? Any and all tips are welcomed. 😉

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